I am going to begin with a definition. Imposter Syndrome: the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills. How many of you have experienced “imposter syndrome” in some area of life? show of hands. Good.
There are multiple takes on imposter syndrome. Today I want to lean on its value for spiritual practice. Imposter syndrome is when you don’t believe your success is deserved, achieved, or the result of your effort. Good. Its not. Our effort is showing up and having it be done unto us. Whenever someone tells me how ‘good’ they are at practice I wince. It is like boasting about being good at tic tac toe, who cares. Yesterday a man told me had been practicing zazen for 50 years and considers himself a beginner. I have a lot to learn from that man.
I love practice. The reason I love practice is that it is not solely theoretical. I also either do it or I don’t. I practice well and I practice poorly. Practice makes practice. In relationship to this, I have been meditating on the line from Wendell Berry where he says that “we must somehow be reduced to the scale of our competence” if we have any shot of preserving the planet. The same is true for our incarnational and contemplative chutzpah.
What I like about this Wendell Berry line, “we must somehow be reduced to the scale of our competence”, is that it is a surrender to humility. “Scaling up” on the other hand is reaching out with the addictive mentality of more, for the sake of more. Doesn’t matter what, could be more Jesus or more Tupperware, as long as pursue more. Jim Collins calls it the “undisciplined pursuit of more.” Because in this mentality ‘moreness’ it is nearly always theoretical posturing or maybe we could call it a syndrome of im-postering, because in practice it leads to listless busyness not truth, to bureaucracy not beauty, and to dull mediocrity not goodness. We have a tendency to aggrandize the impact of the potential “more” while forgetting that saints and mystics praise God for their limitations and stumbling blocks.
Have you ever thought about scaling up your contemplative practice? Like be a really good contemplative by being more present to the presence of God infiltrating every God blessed moment. You can’t scale the presence of God. That is imposter syndrome. Your practice is right now or never. “be reduced to the scale of your competence” and simply show up before the mystery of Mysteries.
Our addiction to more is escapism from the all of you that is sitting here now.
We have a tendency to aggrandize our potential while forgetting our blessed limitations.
photo by Contemplify
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